My Wild Choices

My Body, my Mind, my Choice … Powerful words gone wild in a video campaign collaborated by Vogue India & Bollywood actress Deepika Padukone. The video does not clearly say who is it targeted (addressed) to, whether it is parents, government, significant other, Men in general or just every human being other than self? Also what’s unclear in the video is who the subject is; Woman over 21 or all girls including teenagers?

The video is supposedly promoting gender equality, women empowerment & liberty. I don’t see that coming from any single line in those two minutes of obnoxious rant. Women is a superior gender of the human species (no kidding here, I have said & proved this many times) for them to be equal to Man they’ll have to devalue & degrade themselves. Aping men even for recreational purposes often comes with dire consequences of personal embarrassment. We always see long line in front of ladies room as opposed to Men’s room. I don’t think you want your equality flexed into Men’s toilet; in fact what you want is a larger women’s toilet. You don’t even want to take away Men’s toilet because then their choice can cause larger problems.

Talking about women empowerment, agreed that there are some challenges that needs to be addressed but again in a democratic country I blame women to some extent for being in such situation. Barack may be running the most powerful nation in the world but at the end of the day Michelle is running the house Barack is living in. Women have mastered to empower themselves within the confinement of their own dominion, all they need is to expand their horizon a bit.

I also see a bit of hypocrisy in the outcry of choice and freedom. In an attempt to spite “masculism” (if that’s what feminism is opposing) the choice goes on a wild ride however I dare the choice to say “I choose to trade my scalp hair for a facial hair or I choose to guzzle down a keg and burp with mouth wide open or may be even wilder I choose to leave toilet seat up!!

For a moment let’s view this radical absurdity from a single guy’s mind; Choice permitting a freedom seeking woman is willing to don skimpy outfit, be in a temporary lustful relationship, and indulge in a guilt free sex. This heavenly honor is at par with beer & baseball for a single guy. The only people at loss here are the people closely associated with the woman liberating her wild side loose. Her parents, her children, her husband, her siblings and her very own conscience deeply buried in her. To me this seems like a ploy of an extremely shrewd misogynist who infiltrated the feminist organization & duped them into proclaiming self-defeating statements

Let’s evaluate some hard to comprehend gems from the delivered sermon. The content is hugely shrouded with intentional ambiguity aimed to sensationalize the matter. We’ll try to see the obvious & subtle intent.

“To wear the clothes I like; even if my spirit roams naked. My choice; to be a size 0 or a size 15”
I think the idea is not about thesize it’s about staying healthy & FIT; if your choice is otherwise hope you carry a good health insurance!

“Your mind is caged, let it free My body is not, let it be” Every living species except humans by & large lives on their whim & will. During the course of evolution Humans collectively decided to be civilized & make choices within the realm of norms. So basically the choice is to go back to the basics!

“My choice to marry, or not to marry To have sex before marriage, to have sex outside marriage, or to not have sex” This one is the most controversial & I am sure even some hard-core feminist would find it hard to stomach the choice proclaimed here. The words are deliberately twisted into ambiguity, by saying having sex outside marriage does she mean, once marriage is terminated or while being in marriage? The latter is deemed as adultery which is not only immoral but also a criminal offense under some law. One may say “My choice is to rob a bank” sure but there are consequences if you are caught. So if you want to venture into extramarital affairs, you not only have to beat the consequences but will also have to kill your own conscience.

“My choice to love temporarily, or to lust forever My choice to love a man, or a woman, or both” Ambiguity allover! Love temporarily, as in on & off over a course of time or for a defined period of time? Never heard that love comes with an expiry date, agreed things may not work out & you may part your ways but knowingly getting into a relationship with breakup intent in mind is just being an opportunist. You may choose to lust for ever, but people with virtues when commit to relationship they also vow loyalty. You may love all but you only commit to one & remain loyal in your commitment. If I comprehend the ambiguity correctly the choice here is disloyalty. Question is will it be accepted mutually?

“My choice; to have your baby or not To pick you from 7 billion choices or not So don’t get cocky” This is the straw that broke the back. You may take liberty to pick all 7 billion available choices but the baby will only come from ONE single source. If you are not married no one is objecting your choice, but as a married woman if your choice for that one single source is not your husband … all I have to say is $#!& bleep %!@$ bleep bleep &^%$# bleep bleep bleep. Not only you are committing adultery but are also assassinating paternal pride of the child you are bearing and raising. There’s a difference between being liberated & being a rebellion, seeking freedom vs pursuing authoritarianism. Once the implication of your choices starts to inflict on others’ lives there will be repercussions in the form of choices hurled from the other side. Have you chosen to give a thought on that?

There’s always a choice between sanity & stupidity. Choose it wisely 🙂


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Visual Freedom

Composite Image: Using images from Google Images

Composite Image: Using images from Google Images

One of the biggest turn offs going to gym or swimming is the gender segregated shared locker room.  The very thought of confronting an image violating your visual field puts a second thought making that health building trip. You may go there with intent of improving physical health & may comeback with a lasting mental scar. A fellow blogger recently posted on nudity in locker room. The post raised some valid concerns that remains true for men’s locker room as well. Since she mainly covered women’s locker room, I thought of elaborating the concern around this ubiquitously prevalent social disorder. This is not merely against nudity per say, it’s against primal display in public places frequented by kids. (and signs to remain clothed all the time)

Yes we all are born naked just like any other animal, however collectively as a species we agreed to evolve into civilized humans and respect each other’s visual boundary. Just as we evolved to cook-n-eat from kill-n-consume; we also evolved to cover our pudenda distinctly differentiating us from our pre-evolutionary ancestors. So what makes some of us to de-evolve and display primal behavior? One observation at least in men’s locker room is that going back to basics is more prevalent among older population. Not sure if it is selective amnesia where they completely forget that they are in a visually shared environment or their brain cells that control that piece of information on civilized behavior goes dead after certain age? Some are born exhibitionist and have compulsion to flaunt their assets. Fair but it doesn’t hurt to exercise some common sense before flexing compulsion. You won’t sing in public if you have dreaded hoarse voice, well then extend that logic and broaden your scope of common sense. One may argue that when some skimpy swimsuits leave very little room for imagination what’s the big deal if one goes full Monty? Well that’s the last straw that can shift the balance; that little glimpse can brutally assault an imagination and change the reality from what it’s supposed to be an obscure to obscene. Besides no one would like to be confronted with a dismal future while they are in their prime present especially given the fact that most unwarranted flashes comes from geriatric section of the pack

There’s a fundamental difference between man & woman’s mind when it comes to visual acceptance of nudity. While most women detest any sort of human nudity in public, most men on the other hand shows considerable tolerance towards their gender counterpart going au-naturel. It is not clear if men’s leniency towards unclad women if purely out of respect or merely due to apprehension of repercussion on frowning at a human female – The Supreme Being of Universe. One possible scientific reason to explain this anomaly on nakedness tolerance between genders could be, probably during the process of human socio-psychological evolution, woman’s brain completely evolved to auto-frown the sight of bare bodies in public places; while man only half evolved retaining some level of primal quality (along with many others) resulting into partial tolerance towards unclothed ladies.  I must admit that the limited tolerance is only selective as long as the flaunting is visual treat over visual terror.  The mental block separating treat from terror varies from individual to individual. Don’t ask me to elaborate on this, all I can say is this may be one of those residuals of mal-functioned evolutionary process of male mind. To summarize it in one line, Woman baring it all is bearable by man, while man bearing it to eternity is a bare necessity of every woman. 

Image credit: Google Images

Image credit: Google Images

Going back to locker room, the big question is how to prevent modesty being sacrificed in the locker room. Of course there are laws that they don’t want to obey, obvious clear instructions are there which they don’t want to follow.  Let’s evaluate few ideas & weigh in pros-cons for each one of them.

1) Make Unisex locker rooms.
– Well this may curb most women from baring it all but on the other hand it may encourage more men to be primal

2) Put cameras in locker room & project it out to screen in lobby.
– Nah this makes lobby the busiest place

3) Take that face detection software from digital camera & modify it to meet the need. Put those sensors in locker room and as soon as it detects any modesty-breach it will laser morph it like they do to blur certain objectionable images on public television.
– The software has to be real accurate as some facial contours …. Well never mind

4) Dedicated skinny-emerge rooms. (Skinny dip is – you immerse your bare skin into water, skinny-emerge out of cloths to expose bare skin & intentions). Just like they have smoking zones to respect non-smokers breathing rights, skinny-emerge rooms to protect visual rights.

And finally,
While you are morally bound to respect individual’s visual freedom, by all means you have liberty to visualize freely!! You have freedom to invite anybody (irrespective of their consent) in any or no attire to indulge in any act into your own mental visual frame aka imagination. Unfortunately for an Indian husband like me married to conservatively raised wife, I lost that democratic right too under the bond of holy matrimony. My wife can’t tolerate nudity even in mind, especially mime!!

The only thing that’s universally admired naked is TRUTH. Put your towel on.

Posted in Lighter Side, My Two Cents | Tagged , , | 23 Comments

Ogling Drivers

Composite Image using images from Google Images

Composite Image using images from Google Images

Living in North East US, you always long for summer months. BBQ, Baseball & Beer it couldn’t get better. However warm days also bring an unwarranted morning commute stress while driving on one stretch of NYC suburb highway. There’s this two mile stretch of parkway by the bay in Queens, NY that runs parallel with a jogging track. There’s no apparent harm in their co-existence however the combination presents a perfect recipe for morning commute stress.

 Unsuspecting joggers are drafted into vivid imagination by the ogling eyes of the drivers with residual hormone from night before. The parkway curves at that section but some motorist instead of paying attention to the curve on which they are moving, they engage into appreciating curves of the bodies moving nearby in desperation to catch a feeble glimpse of bouncing bazonga of juggy joggers. It only takes one brake to slow all the following vehicles and in minutes the impact compounds bringing the traffic to a crawling halt. Oglers in motion often forget that the cravings for the curves may lead you into a situation where car insurance will carve a chunk in your wallet.

 I understand eye-candy can be a great stress reliever (no pun intended), but you don’t deliberately build another stress (of traffic) in a process. I honestly confess that I myself am a guy with above average hormonal activity; however my priorities are different during morning commute. Once at a morning commute, my brain is heavily occupied in planning & analyzing the day ahead, especially when phrase like “first thing tomorrow morning” has been expressed a day before.

 The math of ogling while at the wheel is beyond my comprehension. You’re on a moving object; the subject is in motion, how much visual you can capture in a split second to generate a stimulus of reasonable effect? My two cents here are that if the urge is so strong, just pull over & walk towards the joggers to get a good look. It will not only be productive to your senses but also a great help to the flowing traffic who wants to breeze through during morning hours.

The other thing that perplexes me is that, no matter how much you like, you don’t carry tanning lotion to your ski trip. If you try to get the point here; you are driving to work, it’s an environment bound with all sorts of code of conduct; so why do you to start collecting baggage early in the day that you may have to carry around for rest of the day with sparse options to relieve. I mean you wouldn’t fire the oven in the morning when you’re baking in the evening. So basically here are you fooling your urges, or your hormone raged senses fooling you? Some conundrum huh!

NoOglingJogging is equal opportunity recreational fitness drill. Not only who are FIT (an easy target for ogling eyes) are jogging but also the ones who wants to be FIT are out there in the mix. (If you can visualize the joggers trail) So then how can you ….. Never mind. Instead of braking on the highway, give your gawky eyes a brake; there are better things to occupy your brain with early in the day.

 Driving under influence is banned; texting while driving is frowned upon in many states. I think it’s time we support motion to bar gawping while driving.  Or may be a dedicated ogling lane.

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Happy Women’s Day – A wake-up call for Men

Composite image using images from google image

Composite image using images from Google image

Even in the age of equality in the free liberal world, I feel offended when women go out and celebrate women’s day, a deliberate attempt to mock man the inferior gender of the human species. We men know that we are not perfect but please do not subject us to humiliation in every walk of life.

Growing up I was taught that all humans are equal, if that’s the case why women are given special treatment? Every single stage of my life I felt or was made felt inferior to women.

I felt inferior when my Mom convinced my sister to sacrifice choices when there was room for only one to grow. Why do women perceive that only they can be better at that?

I felt ashamed when my sisters (cousins) showered me with compassion even though I was the perpetrator.  Why wasn’t I taught the correct lesson?

I feel discriminated at my work, when my caring equal opportunity employer gives me 20% more pay over my fellow female co-workers. Reason, it’s believed that women more efficient in managing with minimal means. Why can’t the playing field be leveled & give us an equal chance? We may struggle initially but surely we’ll find a way to manage.

I hope one day we will gain enough strength to can re-write the popular phrase “Behind every successful woman, there is a man”

I am looking forward to a time when woman will not mock us by celebrating a day, instead we will be given a chance to celebrate a Men’s day (A day when it will be allowed to leave toilet seat up)

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Spousal Pressure

Welcome to the fraternity Pujara!

Welcome to the fraternity Pujara!

You know that I have been very vocal about the plight of Indian Husbands in 21st century. I know some of you see it with skepticism and some even ridicule it outright. Well the issue is not only deep rooted in Indian marital system it’s pervasive even amongst the athletes and celebrities in India. Only a month ago Indian women failed to beat Australian woman (who went on to win the championship) in front of home support, Indian Men scored second successive victory against Australian Men in Cricket Matches. Cheteshwar Pujara, India’s emerging cricket talent played a pivotal role in India’s massive victory and was judged player of the match. In his acceptance speech he inadvertently made an honest confession that the driving factor of his success in the game was in fact the pressure on him due to spousal concerns.

He said “There was a bit of pressure on me. I just got married, and my wife was worried I should perform”. So this is not just a small time blogger crying foul on being an Indian Husband, the testimonial of terror are trickling from all walks of life. Every Indian Husband is pressurized (bullied is not an appropriate word) by their beloved wife. No exception there.

Some perceived a deliberate double entendre in his statement; idle minds are always like a parliament in session – interpreting the unobvious in the obvious. When talking at a Cricket stadium he would only talk about his cricketing performance, why would he even bring his performance around house-hold chores in public? That’s one painful topic Indian Husbands wouldn’t feel comfortable confronting themselves with, leave aside admitting on public television! That’s my biggest concern being Indian Husband. No one takes us seriously. One (mis)statement about your significant other and instantly you are subjected to twitticism (witty tweets), cynicism is pelted upon you by women disguising under phony guy names.

A player of the match, co-incidentally happens to be a newly crowned husband makes an honest confession. Why can’t people take it positively? Even in his open admission he credited his wife as a motivating factor. How often we see it the other way around?  It all boils down to choice of words; had Pujara stayed with the conventional wisdom saying “behind every successful husband is a happy woman (wife)” and he would have been off the hook. But he got bit carried away and chose to say what his heart murmured

Pujara with Motivation behind India's success!

Pujara with Motivation behind India’s success!

If I may humbly plead the womenity (humanity minus men) of the world on behalf of Pujara & al husbands; Cheteshwar Pujara is a cricketer, his area of excellence involves around thick blade of cricket bat and not a sharp edged pen. I am sure he will be more careful in future making statements about his better half in public; O dear merciful women – supreme creature on this planet, can you be bit more compassionate and forgive his first offence? I promise to chant 100 more “Hail feminism” in my prayer tonight.

Amidst all the Pujara hullabaloo, my wife complains, it’s my performance that puts her under pressure. Yeah right, blame it on husband!

Image courtesy: Google Images

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Survived Sandy


Super storm Sandy sizzled through my neighborhood blazing a trail of terror, couple of days ahead of trick or treating. We find ourselves lucky to escape unharmed and survive the shade of nature that was offered in the form of Sandy.  Fallen trees all around but we are lucky to have power on. The closest succumbed tree is just a house away we only had couple of fallen branches. Another tree in front yard squeaked through the wind but luckily didn’t snap. While we may have been lucky this time, others in my city are not. Downtown Manhattan is hard hit and so are the coastal regions of the Island. It’s a resilient and spirited city & will bounce back as it has done in the past. Meanwhile schools are closed and kids are home. Unplanned vacation is the silver lining and kids have plans to capitalize on it fully, Parents of course have other chores in mind, eying mess in the yard. Dad is flexible (may be practical) but the other is half is adamant. We have two boys and their combined tantrum strength can match the fury of Sandy, the storm is already brewing, let’s see if it gets strong enough to shake motherly mind.

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Indian Husbands: God to Dog!

“Pati Parmeshwar” – Sanskrit Husband is God.

In traditional Indian marriages, woman will accept her Husband for life and will treat him as God. I swear on happy moments of every husbands out there that I am not making this $#!3 up. This is an age-old tradition followed in sub-continent (up until recent past) and any person from the region can attest to it. You can Google it & will find ample references. Now what I may say in rest of the post is widely open to personal interpretation; fictional or fascinating it’s all subject to your own decree. I feel obligated to bring forward the truth offering enough evidences; if you still prefer to exercise your right to disagree, be my guest. Don’t believe me now & feel free to eat your share of humble pie when your angels convince you later!

Desi = People from Sub-Continent
Sub-Continent = India and neighboring region

About 5000 thousand years ago, Men were granted a boon in form of a commandment “Pati Parmeshwar”.  Men/Women in sub-continent followed it religiously for most of past 5000 years. It turned out that the commandment had an expiry date of year 2000. Women (the dominant species of world) now had that commandment in their hands to amend it; goes without saying their way!  Life would have been simpler if women had just replaced the word Husband with wife. Treat “Wife as God”, and husband would still be happy to be a Man. If you know Desi women, you’d know that are programmed to do things out of the ordinary that often fetches extraordinary consequences(for others). Running out of creativity or in a rush to complete the task they didn’t bother to look for new terminology to amend the commandment. They decided to use the existing infrastructure & modify with minimal efforts. Treat Husbands as God was hurriedly changed to “Treat Husbands as Dog”. They later issued a press release to justify their rationale behind the amendment, Dog is (Wo)man’s best friend and “Dog” here should be deemed as a metaphor!

There’s a train behind the pile of people!

Indian men who were already married before the dooms day got lucky enough to grand-father the old tradition; however the wannabe grooms of new generation were up against a steep challenge posed by the new matrimony pact. Ever wondered what triggered the massive influx of Indians into countries like US, Canada, Australia? The amendment of the commandment was the sole reason that triggered the mass exodus of Indian men at the turn of the century. History taught us that around 17th century Europeans fled to US to escape religious persecution, continuing the tradition eligible bachelors (from India) fled to US/Canada to escape emotional persecution. Students with current version of intelligence, figured when the mass is moving towards west, going east is the safest bet & fled to Australia.

Don’t have details around how they pulled off mass immigration to Canada & Australia, but I exactly know how we managed to pour into US on an epic scale. Y2K was just a decoy to shield one of biggest immigration scam! Indians with the help of secret service agents cut a deal to influence INS (Immigration and Naturalization service) and increase visa quota for IT professionals. They came up with a catchy name “Silicon Valley” to fancy Secret service agent’s imaginations. Indians said they’ll help develop “Silicon Valley”. No further questions asked and yearly visa numbers were quadrupled.  This happened during the tenure of President Clinton; even he couldn’t resist the offer to develop Silicon Valley!!

Imagination is always better than reality (especially when it’s far off!)
Feral Imagination always impedes prudent interpretation.

Flexing minimum common sense think over this, your refrigerator, appliances, TV & other electronics may have been manufactured elsewhere but when it breaks the serviceman comes to your home! So when it came to IT why did things turned on its heads? Why did we (Americans) invited programmers to build application in US and dial abroad (to call centers) to fix them! Pondering? Let me give you another compelling example. If Rajesh turned Richard siting in his Bangalore office can fix a computer in your US bedroom, why Sri can’t be the Sri and fix the Y2K bug or build applications from his Hyderabad office? Y2K was the biggest scam perpetrated on innocent American people. Following Govt. found out about this and dissolved the INS and in place created a department Homeland security. We all know that INS was replaced by Home Land Security, you may have heard a different version of story behind that replacement, but the reality is what I have just mentioned. Wait until wikileaks reveals this & you’ll believe it then.

One can hardly make sound judgment under stress. All three chosen destinations were developed democracy. A living heaven for women on earth! The problem with Indian men is that they always think far ahead even when the obvious answer lies in near vicinity. Nobody thought of countries at a stone throw distance. Afghanistan, Iran, all of middle-east. At least in these countries they would have lived with some dignity where gender equality prevails as opposed to developed democracy where woman are over-privileged & dominate the society. In developed democracy women can bare their shoulders & knees & it is still considered as formal wear while Men are required to cover completely even for a casual wear. In middle-east there is no such discrimination, everyone covers fully. If you have facial hair, you may flaunt it otherwise face remains covered too. Desi women who followed the trail in pursuit of a potential mate found a female equivalent of “beer & baseball” pleasure in marrying a Desi guy in US. Live in a female dominated world & a pet husband as a bonus! I am married to one such fortunate Desi Gal.

I hear every dog husband has his day. I am optimistically waiting for my day, I am sure there is one.

(all images in this post are re-composed using Microsoft Picture Tool and Google Images)

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