Couch – Husband’s Companion in Crisis.

House supremo hollers from the kitchen, what’s on TV?
Swiping my fingers on the screen I proclaimed the truth DUST!

English: Hella Jongerius (Dutch, born 1963): P...

Image via Wikipedia

Reality bites and truth hurts; have heard that a lot, experienced it first hand for the first time. As repercussions of my honest utterance of a single word response, I ended up eating Chinese leftover from takeout meal day before and had to settle on a couch for the remainder of the night.  That wasn’t the end of my unearned ordeal. An innocent expression of unembellished truth earned me an unduly assignment and an objective. An assignment to buy a new duster and an objective to use it every single day as a pre-qualifier for evening meal as well as an entry to the bedroom.

Down in the mouth I settled on the couch, my companion for the night. I started to explore the couch after all we were tied in for the long haul. Stretching myself on the couch I recalled the day we were shopping for the same. A good friend of mine (five years senior to me in terms of marriage license), insisted me on spending some extra dough and buy a couch that converts into a comfortable bed. I argued about the return on investment and he convinced me saying that you will thank me for this one day. And I sure thanked him that day. When we bought the current house the same guy made me spend thousand extra bucks dismantling the dog house left by prior owner. I thanked him again for that foresighted action. Convertible couch was the second best invention after beer made exclusively for husbands. Love of my life may have dejected me for the night, but husband’s two best comforting buddies were with me. Sitting on the couch with beer in hand, I thought that wisdom of my friend helped me salvage my night, let me collect the wisdom out of this mess that might probably help salvage the moment of future husbands. I summed it up all into two simple guiding principles,
1) Never stay within the reachable distance of TV. There’s a reason they made remote
2) Husbands are exempted form the commandment “Thou shall not lie” (Husbands nine lies was conceived after this)

Image credit: Google Images

In the world of skepticism I know some would argue, “why Couch is only Husbands companion and not Man’s companion. What’s the difference? Man too settles on couch!” Well the difference is one settling in there as the best available resort for time being, other resort to it in absence of immediate settling options. Allow me to elaborate this with a better convincing example. Two guys a drifter and a dweller stranded at an airport, dweller with a confirmed ticket while the drifter on a thrift travel plan holding a stand by ticket. Dweller is stranded because of inclement weather conditions at his destination, the drifter impatiently awaiting to get a confirmation on any available flight. Dweller is in the unfortunate situation by circumstances beyond his control, drifter is in the situation by choice (or a lack of one). Dweller is already checked in, relaxing in lounge and has no rush to end up in a rogue conditions. He’s happily enjoying his tranquil moments and will wait until flights to his destination resumes. Drifter loaded with luggage is desperate to check in and unload himself to a gratifying relief. Burdened and bored drifter might take a frantic action to rent a car and drive by himself to another destination. Marital status does make big difference on habits and behavior in creatures of same species, at least the male gender.

For all the wannabe hubbies out there, one simple advice the day you order that wedding band, consider investing in a convertible couch. Go for one with built-in cup holder and little storage. It will pay off in the long run.


About Yatin

Amateur Scribbler. Equal opportunity scribbler on Stupidity and Sanity.
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21 Responses to Couch – Husband’s Companion in Crisis.

  1. hilarious!

    I am convinced of the foresight that your friend possesses!

    very well written as well!

    • Yatin says:

      Thanks my friend, the wisdom of seniors in the fraternity is the key to husband’s survival in wedlock. Not sure if you follow classic Indian songs. Can’t remember the lyrics very well of this song by Rafi filmed on Dev Anand that goes … “kept on smoking my worries away, happy or sad I kept on singing away (happily)” 🙂

      • Yatin, I am a huge fan of the golden era!

        “main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya”

        • Yatin says:

          Yeap that’s the one. Replace the word zindai with biwi and the song fits to a tee to husband’s life. Not at all trying to scare away the aspirants from the fraternity. We want more strength in the club to share our joy and sorrow, just want them to come fully prepared. 🙂

  2. Addie says:

    The red couch reminds me of the movie, Pinoy Sunday. Good one if you haven’t seen it yet. I liked the story about the drifter and the dweller. I see myself as a little bit of both.

    • Yatin says:

      Such a fortunate soul you guys are. For us once we commit to dwell there is no option to drift, rent is a far fetched thing. Not a big movie buff, but will check out Pinoy Sunday.

  3. susielindau says:

    Love the advice! Happy dusting~
    Too funny Yatin!!

  4. jakesprinter says:

    I like the couch you posted Yatin
    and I love your story about it 🙂 🙂 🙂

  5. Hareem says:

    Very well written. Loved your wit and humour.

  6. Ha! Ha! This was a very interesting and lighthearted post. I enjoyed reading it on my cozy couch, albeit not a convertible. Oh yes, remote control is very close by. We ladies call it “girl power.” Ha! Ha! Anyway, thanks for the witty humor. Also, thanks for dropping by my blog. It led me to your delightful blog. 🙂

    • Yatin says:

      You guys sitting on the couch is totally different experience than us ending up there. Would be fun see your perspective on that someday!
      Oh yeah, I feel that power every day, except that the power that comes through the electrical outlet runs everything in my house & the power generated by the source you mentioned makes me run! Glad to see you here and thanks for all the appreciation.

  7. One thing I always told my ex (one of the reasons why he is my ex) “Don’t complain about it if you’re not willing to do anything about it!” Love your post, my friend. I could feel your pain!

  8. The Hook says:

    Hilarious, spot-on assessment of hubbies everywhre!

    • Yatin says:

      Thanks for such comforting words, makes me feel I am not alone. Need to stay connected. I agree with your philosophy, dudes can stay connected without jeopardizing their orientation.

  9. Shil Rani says:

    Wow! I hope I never ever make my husband sleep on the couch! Guess I’ll just have to wait and see when I get there. I think I’d hate to have my husband feel this way…. Brilliant post!

  10. olgamire says:

    Very nice story! I loved your sense of humor and the language, your blog just came in right time for me 🙂

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