Indian Husbands: God to Dog!

“Pati Parmeshwar” – Sanskrit Husband is God.

In traditional Indian marriages, woman will accept her Husband for life and will treat him as God. I swear on happy moments of every husbands out there that I am not making this $#!3 up. This is an age-old tradition followed in sub-continent (up until recent past) and any person from the region can attest to it. You can Google it & will find ample references. Now what I may say in rest of the post is widely open to personal interpretation; fictional or fascinating it’s all subject to your own decree. I feel obligated to bring forward the truth offering enough evidences; if you still prefer to exercise your right to disagree, be my guest. Don’t believe me now & feel free to eat your share of humble pie when your angels convince you later!

Desi = People from Sub-Continent
Sub-Continent = India and neighboring region

About 5000 thousand years ago, Men were granted a boon in form of a commandment “Pati Parmeshwar”.  Men/Women in sub-continent followed it religiously for most of past 5000 years. It turned out that the commandment had an expiry date of year 2000. Women (the dominant species of world) now had that commandment in their hands to amend it; goes without saying their way!  Life would have been simpler if women had just replaced the word Husband with wife. Treat “Wife as God”, and husband would still be happy to be a Man. If you know Desi women, you’d know that are programmed to do things out of the ordinary that often fetches extraordinary consequences(for others). Running out of creativity or in a rush to complete the task they didn’t bother to look for new terminology to amend the commandment. They decided to use the existing infrastructure & modify with minimal efforts. Treat Husbands as God was hurriedly changed to “Treat Husbands as Dog”. They later issued a press release to justify their rationale behind the amendment, Dog is (Wo)man’s best friend and “Dog” here should be deemed as a metaphor!

There’s a train behind the pile of people!

Indian men who were already married before the dooms day got lucky enough to grand-father the old tradition; however the wannabe grooms of new generation were up against a steep challenge posed by the new matrimony pact. Ever wondered what triggered the massive influx of Indians into countries like US, Canada, Australia? The amendment of the commandment was the sole reason that triggered the mass exodus of Indian men at the turn of the century. History taught us that around 17^th century Europeans fled to US to escape religious persecution, continuing the tradition eligible bachelors (from India) fled to US/Canada to escape emotional persecution. Students with current version of intelligence, figured when the mass is moving towards west, going east is the safest bet & fled to Australia.

Don’t have details around how they pulled off mass immigration to Canada & Australia, but I exactly know how we managed to pour into US on an epic scale. Y2K was just a decoy to shield one of biggest immigration scam! Indians with the help of secret service agents cut a deal to influence INS (Immigration and Naturalization service) and increase visa quota for IT professionals. They came up with a catchy name “Silicon Valley” to fancy Secret service agent’s imaginations. Indians said they’ll help develop “Silicon Valley”. No further questions asked and yearly visa numbers were quadrupled.  This happened during the tenure of President Clinton; even he couldn’t resist the offer to develop Silicon Valley!!

Imagination is always better than reality (especially when it’s far off!)
Feral Imagination always impedes prudent interpretation.

Flexing minimum common sense think over this, your refrigerator, appliances, TV & other electronics may have been manufactured elsewhere but when it breaks the serviceman comes to your home! So when it came to IT why did things turned on its heads? Why did we (Americans) invited programmers to build application in US and dial abroad (to call centers) to fix them! Pondering? Let me give you another compelling example. If Rajesh turned Richard siting in his Bangalore office can fix a computer in your US bedroom, why Sri can’t be the Sri and fix the Y2K bug or build applications from his Hyderabad office? Y2K was the biggest scam perpetrated on innocent American people. Following Govt. found out about this and dissolved the INS and in place created a department Homeland security. We all know that INS was replaced by Home Land Security, you may have heard a different version of story behind that replacement, but the reality is what I have just mentioned. Wait until wikileaks reveals this & you’ll believe it then.

One can hardly make sound judgment under stress. All three chosen destinations were developed democracy. A living heaven for women on earth! The problem with Indian men is that they always think far ahead even when the obvious answer lies in near vicinity. Nobody thought of countries at a stone throw distance. Afghanistan, Iran, all of middle-east. At least in these countries they would have lived with some dignity where gender equality prevails as opposed to developed democracy where woman are over-privileged & dominate the society. In developed democracy women can bare their shoulders & knees & it is still considered as formal wear while Men are required to cover completely even for a casual wear. In middle-east there is no such discrimination, everyone covers fully. If you have facial hair, you may flaunt it otherwise face remains covered too. Desi women who followed the trail in pursuit of a potential mate found a female equivalent of “beer & baseball” pleasure in marrying a Desi guy in US. Live in a female dominated world & a pet husband as a bonus! I am married to one such fortunate Desi Gal.

I hear every dog husband has his day. I am optimistically waiting for my day, I am sure there is one.

(all images in this post are re-composed using Microsoft Picture Tool and Google Images)