Indian Husbands: God to Dog!

“Pati Parmeshwar” – Sanskrit Husband is God.

In traditional Indian marriages, woman will accept her Husband for life and will treat him as God. I swear on happy moments of every husbands out there that I am not making this $#!3 up. This is an age-old tradition followed in sub-continent (up until recent past) and any person from the region can attest to it. You can Google it & will find ample references. Now what I may say in rest of the post is widely open to personal interpretation; fictional or fascinating it’s all subject to your own decree. I feel obligated to bring forward the truth offering enough evidences; if you still prefer to exercise your right to disagree, be my guest. Don’t believe me now & feel free to eat your share of humble pie when your angels convince you later!

Desi = People from Sub-Continent
Sub-Continent = India and neighboring region

About 5000 thousand years ago, Men were granted a boon in form of a commandment “Pati Parmeshwar”.  Men/Women in sub-continent followed it religiously for most of past 5000 years. It turned out that the commandment had an expiry date of year 2000. Women (the dominant species of world) now had that commandment in their hands to amend it; goes without saying their way!  Life would have been simpler if women had just replaced the word Husband with wife. Treat “Wife as God”, and husband would still be happy to be a Man. If you know Desi women, you’d know that are programmed to do things out of the ordinary that often fetches extraordinary consequences(for others). Running out of creativity or in a rush to complete the task they didn’t bother to look for new terminology to amend the commandment. They decided to use the existing infrastructure & modify with minimal efforts. Treat Husbands as God was hurriedly changed to “Treat Husbands as Dog”. They later issued a press release to justify their rationale behind the amendment, Dog is (Wo)man’s best friend and “Dog” here should be deemed as a metaphor!

There’s a train behind the pile of people!

Indian men who were already married before the dooms day got lucky enough to grand-father the old tradition; however the wannabe grooms of new generation were up against a steep challenge posed by the new matrimony pact. Ever wondered what triggered the massive influx of Indians into countries like US, Canada, Australia? The amendment of the commandment was the sole reason that triggered the mass exodus of Indian men at the turn of the century. History taught us that around 17th century Europeans fled to US to escape religious persecution, continuing the tradition eligible bachelors (from India) fled to US/Canada to escape emotional persecution. Students with current version of intelligence, figured when the mass is moving towards west, going east is the safest bet & fled to Australia.

Don’t have details around how they pulled off mass immigration to Canada & Australia, but I exactly know how we managed to pour into US on an epic scale. Y2K was just a decoy to shield one of biggest immigration scam! Indians with the help of secret service agents cut a deal to influence INS (Immigration and Naturalization service) and increase visa quota for IT professionals. They came up with a catchy name “Silicon Valley” to fancy Secret service agent’s imaginations. Indians said they’ll help develop “Silicon Valley”. No further questions asked and yearly visa numbers were quadrupled.  This happened during the tenure of President Clinton; even he couldn’t resist the offer to develop Silicon Valley!!

Imagination is always better than reality (especially when it’s far off!)
Feral Imagination always impedes prudent interpretation.

Flexing minimum common sense think over this, your refrigerator, appliances, TV & other electronics may have been manufactured elsewhere but when it breaks the serviceman comes to your home! So when it came to IT why did things turned on its heads? Why did we (Americans) invited programmers to build application in US and dial abroad (to call centers) to fix them! Pondering? Let me give you another compelling example. If Rajesh turned Richard siting in his Bangalore office can fix a computer in your US bedroom, why Sri can’t be the Sri and fix the Y2K bug or build applications from his Hyderabad office? Y2K was the biggest scam perpetrated on innocent American people. Following Govt. found out about this and dissolved the INS and in place created a department Homeland security. We all know that INS was replaced by Home Land Security, you may have heard a different version of story behind that replacement, but the reality is what I have just mentioned. Wait until wikileaks reveals this & you’ll believe it then.

One can hardly make sound judgment under stress. All three chosen destinations were developed democracy. A living heaven for women on earth! The problem with Indian men is that they always think far ahead even when the obvious answer lies in near vicinity. Nobody thought of countries at a stone throw distance. Afghanistan, Iran, all of middle-east. At least in these countries they would have lived with some dignity where gender equality prevails as opposed to developed democracy where woman are over-privileged & dominate the society. In developed democracy women can bare their shoulders & knees & it is still considered as formal wear while Men are required to cover completely even for a casual wear. In middle-east there is no such discrimination, everyone covers fully. If you have facial hair, you may flaunt it otherwise face remains covered too. Desi women who followed the trail in pursuit of a potential mate found a female equivalent of “beer & baseball” pleasure in marrying a Desi guy in US. Live in a female dominated world & a pet husband as a bonus! I am married to one such fortunate Desi Gal.

I hear every dog husband has his day. I am optimistically waiting for my day, I am sure there is one.

(all images in this post are re-composed using Microsoft Picture Tool and Google Images)

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About Yatin

Amateur Scribbler. Equal opportunity scribbler on Stupidity and Sanity.
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51 Responses to Indian Husbands: God to Dog!

  1. jlapis says:

    First reaction: I can’t imagine myself treating my husband as God. hehe. :) excited to hear about your big “day” when it comes! :)

    • Yatin says:

      Can you imagine the other way? ;) i can’t wait for my day of redemption. There will be big celebrations & a special post on that too! :)

  2. susielindau says:

    A husband can dream! Too funny~

  3. Very fun post. Y2K was an epic event. Just not for computers. :)

    • Yatin says:

      Yeas it was epic & will sure have its mark in history books. Looking back at it now it all seems fun, but for IT professionals it was no joke back then. In fact for some it was living nightmare until it was all over. :)

  4. well hope your wife doesnot treats you like dog or god but lifemate :)

    • Yatin says:

      We’ve been soul mates for little over a decade now! The treatment pendulum swings either way depending on how I play. As long as I follow the “house rule book”, I am God, a step deviated & I am driven towards realization who’s the boss followed with some repercussions. So I guess it’s in husband’s hand how does want to be treated. You act like one; you’ll be treated like one. :)

  5. You brought out some rather amazing insights here.The world has changed lots.This change process is ongoing even now as we speak!

    • Yatin says:

      You are correct, it is an evolving process as we speak. I think most traditions/customs starts with good intentions, it evolves into an evil practice and when it reaches unbearable heights, it starts to correct itself. There are things that we find appropriate now, might be baned in future & some taboo talks might be a common practice in future. We get glimpse in daily news!

  6. Nifti says:

    This is too funny. LOL. Love the last paragraph!
    Definitely a different outlook on cultural difference and gender roles.

  7. jakesprinter says:

    Nice post Yatin , I never know that Tradition before, well done :)

  8. renxkyoko says:

    Hooray for equality, or are you saying women are above men now? he he he ! That’s good news.

    Cheers !

    • Yatin says:

      I’ll cheer Hooray for equality, if there is equality. Women are far ahead and are dominating the world! I have been posting about it (you might want to check my older posts to see the details :)

  9. Namita Lad says:

    now that was a really huge post…first of all Respect is not to be demanded… in ancient times Men or to be precise Husbands were treated as GOD…but the job of GOD is to take care of his devotees but soon they started misusing the power…you should be aware of what kind of treatment Women started getting from so called Gods… n that’s when they lost their value…you should have checked both the sides of coin before blaming on anyone specific…and i’n not writing this coz m a girl but this is the fact…if Husbands would have treated their women in good manner they would have still be God to their women…and not dogs :)

    • Yatin says:

      I agree, but my question is why punish us for the crime some else committed centuries ago!! We (Americans as well as Indians) are good friends with Britain! ;)

      On a serious note, I hear you. Plight of woman was no different no matter which culture you go only couple of centuries ago. Back in the days women was deprived of education as well as some basic human rights. We’ve come a long way in civilization to leave behind social menaces. Ancient culture of our history says that we worshiped women and celebrated womanhood through lot of our festivals. Somewhere in the cultural evolution we lost or deviated from that heritage & again we seem to be on a correction course.

      I’d like to be treated as a friend (not as a metaphor, in a true sense)
      Thanks for stopping by & reading/commenting on this huge post :)

  10. Countess Das says:

    Well said… I’m actually waiting for ma dog… May b this is d reason we say men are dogs…

    • Yatin says:

      To own a best breed, lure em under the pretend of a God & trust me once ringed they’ll turn into a pet for sure :) (my two cents)

  11. Just Coop It says:

    This made me laugh. Loved it.

  12. natasiarose says:

    Haha! I treat my dog like god, sooo maybe it’s not that bad ;)

  13. Cayman Thorn says:

    Yanno . . . I’m inspired by that signpost pointing towards Silicon Valley. I’m thinking I want to plan a trip there, pronto. I’m gonna blame it all on you. So, just a heads up.

    • Yatin says:

      So just to give you heads up. You may venture towards that path if you wish to get laid … (off) soon! ;) Economy is is affecting everybody especially ones at silicon valley. So don’t tell me I didn’t warn you :)

  14. Congratulations! I’ve nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award. http://wp.me/p27eXb-7z

  15. Just dropped to say hi. Been missing you posts lately :)

    • Yatin says:

      Hello & thanks for dropping by my friend. Busy would be a small word to describe my life lately :), I guess it’s about time to active socially. Heading to your hood in few.

  16. Nurse Anj says:

    Interesting post.. If that’s the case, then i cannot wait to have my own dog.. oh i mean, husband!

    • Yatin says:

      Hope you get one soon. It all starts with a Husband & slowly transition to the other animal :)
      Due apologies for responding so late, welcome to my blog.

  17. Yatin Ji!!

    Kahan hain???

  18. kofegeek says:

    long time no visit, finally has time
    (\__/)
    (♥‿♥)
    (“)_(“)

  19. I love this, you’re writing always makes me smile :)

  20. moon says:

    I read your post and would have wished i read it earlier. I was married for only a year with my Indian husband from Mumbai. Before we got married we made it clear that there is no dowry whatsoever, but after 2 months, his mother maltreated me like a maid because I could not give her 500,000 Rupees. All the things my Indian husband promised were a lie. He made me do household chores and even work online because he has no enough money for payment. Though he forced me to accept he gym train his rakhi sister Dimple Gidwani every other night and comes home at 1 am in the morning. After two weeks training, my husband Vikas Balkrishan Joshi started maltreating me, emotionally abusing me with curses and endless comparison of his mother, Bhabi and this Dimple.
    Then after our anniversary, he got me a ticket back to my country and threw me out. It took him a year after to realize I was important but I realized from a common friend that the Dimple got married to a richer guy. Now my pesky husband does not want to give me divorce because he wants the money that I earn as a teacher.
    What should I do?

  21. lol…awesome write up…following you :)

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